The older he gets, the harder it gets. The more it sinks in that, while he will improve some, he will never be normal. He will always require assistance. My shred of hope is fading fast....

I don't want to get a full size van. It means that he gets an electric wheelchair. It means that he'll be in that chair for the rest of his life.... which will be shorter than mine.

He probably will not ever sit at the table and enjoy a nice meal with us. The most I hope for now is a few bites. Even that seems like a pie in the sky dream. The more we push him to eat, the harder he pushes back. I'm to the point of "why try?"

He will be 8 in April. 8 years of changing his diapers, making sure he gets his meds and his feedings on schedule. 8 years of hoping that he will eventually walk or talk. 8 years of therapy 3x/week.

8 years of the most loving little boy I have ever known... knowing I only have about 20 left...